While kicking around the chopped-off head of a Danish Prince* after battle, the British invented Soccer.** The English later (for some stupid reason) renamed their new-found passion 'Football', and subsequently exported their game to the world. Naively, the Brits let local cultures and languages develop their own name(s) for the game, allowing for the rise of a very confusing international situation indeed.
Once again (snore) the United States of America brings leadership and solidarity to the world- unifying all nations under one name and one common vision for the future. Our vision. Let the Earth rejoice in the singularly correct name for the 'World's Game' heretoforth...
*Prince Magnus of Hackey.
**NOTE: The game of 'Hackey Sack' was invented only mintues later when the overlooked particpants (read: 'unpicked nerds on the sidelines') stood in a circle of fellow nerdoom and started foot juggling The Decapitated's nutsack whilst complaining that competition sucked and team work was everything- especially when partaking in a repetitive posthumous 'kick in the nuts' of an enemy while all the while repetively promising to never say they were 'sorry'.
***The good word is 'Soccer'. Dude.